Retro Dial Phone

Listen, not everything in this world has to be wireless to be cool. And the best way to rid yourself of all-that-is-modern is to go retro. I’m not talking Moon Boots here. Let’s stick with what we can really consider cool. Check out this big and bulky retro dial phone. In the day, we’d probably agree, these were kinda ugly. Especially as modern, slim-line, push button phones started emerging. Smaller always seems better at the time. But look at it now. This phone has a classic beauty about it.  And let’s face it — slamming the phone down on someone has lost some of the desired impact since
slamming consists of pushing the off button. Wow, what a statement of anger.

Available in Red, Black, Pink, and Target (imagine a bowling shoe…that you talk into…without the sweaty foot smell).

Available from: Firebox | $119.95

Puzzle Alarm Clock

Are you a little groggy in the morning? Is that snooze button just a little too inviting? Have you been warned one too many times about being late for work? Not anymore! At your designated time, the Puzzle Alarm clock shoots four puzzle pieces into the air and the only way to silence the shrill of the alarm is to locate all of the puzzle pieces and put them back into place. Doesn’t that sound like a riot? I guess that’s debatable.

For the hard to wake, this could be a sure fire way to get you moving or it could be a complete waste of $97 if the thing is smashed into a million little pieces the first time it goes off at 5am and you can’t locate piece number four. BLAST YOU PIECE NUMBER FOUR!!! Woe be unto you open mouth sleepers.

Available from: BimBamBanana | $97.00

Audi R8

That 1990 Ford Taurus you are sporting around in isn’t near as cool as you are leading yourself to believe. Trust me on this. But if you happen to have an extra $80,000 to $110,000 burning a hole in your pocket, you could (finally) be riding in style with the all new 2008 Audi R8. With 420 horsepower and 0 to 62 mph in just 4.6 seconds, your daily commute should be drastically reduced. Easily giving you an extra 10 to 15 minutes of sleep each morning. Wouldn’t that be worth $100,000?

Nambe Wine Sling

Your La-Z-Boy recliner is not considered functional art, just ask your wife. However, this very cool wine sling made of Nambe metal and walnut is. What’s Nambe metal? I’m glad you asked. Nambe metal is an alloy with the luster of silver and the strength of iron. Display your bottles of fine wine (the art) and if you find a burglar rummaging through your home, smack him over the head with the wine sling (the functional part), just remove the wine first. The wine sling is strong as iron, the wine bottles aren’t.